One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
