Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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