we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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