i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
