I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
