Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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