I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
