i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize