he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
