Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
