I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
