My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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