so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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