its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
