I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
