its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
