i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
