'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
