I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
