i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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