In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
