Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
