this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
