She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Less talking, more tequila
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
