2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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