Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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