She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
we're so committed to being not committed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
