Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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