My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize