I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
