You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
