Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
false alarm. still invincible.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
