My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
