One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
