Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize