we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
