just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
