i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
