for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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