TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
