One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
These tits shall not be calmed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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