In the future we'll all be gay
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
