He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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