I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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