okay pat passed out under dana's car
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
