ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
