id be glad to
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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