How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize