I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
