Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
