Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
