even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
