I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
