I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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