i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
