it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
