all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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