i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
