I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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