so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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