I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
MIDGETS
????
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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