Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
