Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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